Startup interview: Brian Lobel and Joon-Lynn Goh of Sex with Cancer
RTIH gets the lowdown on recently launched online retailer Sex with Cancer.
RTIH: Tell us about yourself and Sex with Cancer
BL and JLG: We are the world's first sex toy shop and online resource for people living with and beyond cancer.
Part artwork, part advocacy campaign, part shopfront, we are trying to fill the gap in conversation, services and confidence between patients, nurses, doctors, charities and sexual health services.
We are two friends, both with lived experiences of cancer, who want to encourage new solutions to deeply embedded and tricky problems.
RTIH: What was the inspiration behind setting the company up?
BL: I have been working in the cancer world since 2003, two years after myself having testicular cancer.
When Joon Lynn was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2018, our friendship of course focused primarily on the illness - and how best I could support her - but very quickly, we got into an intellectual exercise of world imagining.
In her essay, Joon Lynn describes this "what If" world-building/world imagining exercise as useful to health mental health and emotional recovery, and once she was better, we started to expand on the what If (we started a sex toy shop for cancer patients?) into practical ways.
People living with and beyond cancer are let down in a number of ways - none of which are someone's direct 'fault' but all of which work in tandem to keep patients from living their most full lives.
While some nurses and doctors are comfortable talking about sex and pleasure (beyond fertility preservation) most are not, nor are they trained to talk about this better.
And on the other side of the coin, cancer charities are often built on 'survivorship' and 'inspiration' narratives, most of which keep stories about sex and pleasure out of their major fundraising campaigns and resources.
So patients and those living beyond cancer are let down on both sides, while so, so many experience issues related to sex, intimacy, body image, relationships, etc.
RTIH: What has been the industry reaction thus far?
BL and JLG: The response from patients, and from medical professionals has been tremendous. So many messages of support and of people feeling 'seen' by our project.
And medical professionals have been reaching out too - we have lots of meetings about potential partnerships, new areas of growth, etc.
There are many amazing people working in both psychosexual therapy/support and in cancer and in sex toy sales, but I just think they haven't all been seen together - in a judgement-free space - before.
That's why Sex with Cancer being an artwork, as well as a business and an advocacy campaign, is helpful.
RTIH: What has been your biggest challenge/setback?
BL and JLG: I think we underestimated how demanding social media can be. Not only to have constant messaging and 'presence' (which are not our natural state of being), but to have constant support.
So many people are reaching out to share thoughts, horror stories, sadnesses, and successes, but responding to all of these in meaningful, helpful ways can be overwhelming.
I'm sure we'll find the right way to provision this support in the future, but for now, signposting to our partners has been a great way forward.
RTIH: What are the biggest challenges facing the online retail sector right now?
BL and JLG: We are so new, I'm not sure what's the now-est challenge. I think it's got to be pace.
The pandemic taught us, as a society and as individuals, that we need to change pace for more humane, and ultimately more effective, working and living.
But the online retail sector still seems to push push push - on social media, on advertising, on delivery. We've really tried to be clear - with our audiences and funders and supporters - how we're pursuing a pathway that is both awesome and sustainable.
If we can't breath properly, we won't be able to put the oxygen mask on our community members, so to speak.
RTIH: What's the best question about your company asked of you recently by an investor and/or a customer?
BL and JLG: Eek! Great question. Our investors include Arts Council England and our producing partners, four theatre venues/organisations in England that supported the development of the work.
It's a very different kind of relationship with 'investors' than those who are looking for a traditional return on investment.
I'd say the best question we get asked by customers starts with "Have you ever considered...".
When you're building something that you want to live for a long time, inspirations for next steps can come from the team, or from the customer/user, who are noticing gaps. They don't ask "When is this happening" or "Why don't you...".
But instead when people ask "Have you considered..." it helps us realise that there are still things we're not seeing - and new pathways open up for us. When they ask in such an open tone, also, it helps approach new ideas with clarity and generosity, as opposed to defensiveness.
RTIH: What can we expect to see from Sex with Cancer over the next 12 months?
BL and JLG: More, more, more. We're just working on our next steps, but we hope the world can expect our Pleasure Kits (new bespoke Sex with Cancer kits which are curated by our amazing shopkeeper Toni Lewis), new trainings for health professionals, new events for people with/beyond cancer to connect, and more art commissions.
Whatever we do, we hope we'll bring the same candidness, kindness and eye to sustainable practice.
